My best flat ever & truck trouble X 3

In the last 24 hours, I've had one truck almost explode, another electronically die and a third blow a tire.. My best flat ever!
This story begins around 9am yesterday. The old truck, as we call it, all but exploded on the way to town. I knew it had problems. I could hear the knocking of the engine. So, I drove it (tried to) into town for an expert's opinion. You gotta meet Bubba, but that's another story.
Anyway, I'm about three miles from the ranch or just east of the 'flashing light' and all of a sudden... GRRRRRRRRR.... CRRRRRRRRRRRRK... GUHRUUUUUUUUUUUNK... CLICK, CLICK, CLICK... no power.
I pull over behind the smoking hood. To make a long story short, Bubba says it's KAPUT! What would you expect from a 1970 Chevy with 200k+ miles or so?
Then, later that same day.. the newest truck (1999 Ford) quits. It won't start, it won't light up.. it won't do nothin'! Bubba says it's the battery. So, I get a new battery. It works for less than 24 hours. Long story short, Bubba says I got big problems. Bubba's investigating. Keep in mind, if Bubba says it's broke--it's broke. Bubba knows engines. On top of that, he's a great guy, who runs a good business. Bubba is car repair in Snyder.
Then, earlier today.. I'm heading into town on an errand. I'm about a mile from Randals' Corner and I hear.. ZUGGA, ZUGGA, ZUGGA.... BAM! The next thing I know, the ole white truck's veering at 45-degrees into the oncoming traffic. I'm on the phone. I look up.. thank goodness an 18 wheeler's not bearing down on me. I drift into the left side oncoming shoulder. My left front tire's nothing but a mangled piece of rubber. I can't even make out the tire name.. it looks like M... c... l...n.
So in 24 hours, I've had three vehicles quit or try to quit on me. It's comical. By this point, I"m on the side of the road, covered in a day's worth of dust and laughing.
Long story short.. Max (who knows nothing about plumbing) and I changed the tire and I went about my errands.
The good news is.. the old truck DIDN'T explode.. the NEW truck didn't electrocute me and the ole white truck didn't slam into oncoming traffic. Coulda been worse.
Bill Robertson.
PS... I sure hope Bubba finds out what's wrong with the new truck, at least it's tires aren't old.

Nature's cafeteria & possum love

It's funny what you see out here when you're not looking for it. For example, a bobcat dashed across the road yesterday. The day before that, a coyote hustled across an open field. Then, a doe spotted me and raised her white tail in fleet sometime last week. Each time, I had to stop and wonder.
Then there are times, when you see nature just being nature. We have a 'prairie dog town.' Let's face it; they are at the bottom of the food chain---but maybe they don't have to be, if they'd just use some common sense.
I sat in my truck, sometime recently, and watched a two burrowing owls (I think) had a feast on one of the dogs. That's not what caught my eye. What really got my attention was the other dogs. They sat, less than 10' feet away and watched! Wouldn't you hide, run or at least leave the area? That's what I mean by nature's cafeteria. It reminded me of the old days at the Piccadilly cafeteria. "Serve you?"
As for possum love... well, we got 'em and suffice it say they're affectionate. A day at the dump could've been a sex ed. class.
So there you have it.. As Peter Brady said to Greg; "expect it when you least expect it."
Bill Robertson

The best & worst tools

This list is completey subjective, but I've given it a lot of thought. You see, lately I've been working a few big projects and using all kinds of tools. Therefore, I think I'm not kinda qualified to offer my perspective.
Best tools...
-Air hammer (or whatever you call it)
What's anybody do before this invention
-Wheelbarrow
-Gutters
-Caulk & caulk gun
-Cordless drill
-Gas powered tiller (see rake below)

Worst tools...
-Shovel
(I'm officially a shovel engineer)
-Two pound sledge
I think my right arm's now three times the size of my left.
-Chisel
Have you ever tried to remove the top of a metal barrel w/ only a hammer and chisel?
-Rake
Spreading anything w/ a rake is back breaking.. grooving hard ground to plant grass seed is a killer

Hmm... seems like this list was a lot longer when it was 100-degrees the other day and I was making massive mulch pathways. Now sitting in the air conditioning, it's not so long.
Bill Robertson

Ranching by numbers

Everyday that I'm out here at the Windmill Ranch I have about a dozen new chores and countless other daily things I gotta get done.
Most times, it's just me. Sometimes, Max helps. Or there's Tina. I haven't told you about her yet. We hired her as a ranch house keeper. She's become soooo much more than that. First of all, She's more of a dust control engineers. Secondly, she's strong and a very hard worker.
But like I said, most times it's just me. So, I've developed a weird, maybe obsessive compulsive, method to pass the time.
For example, it takes 16 shovel loads to fill up my wheelbarrow or my dump truck as Max calls it. That's 16 shovels of gravel, but it's 20 shovels of sand and 19 shovels of mulch.
More numbers... it takes 35-50 whacks with a two pound sledge to drive a stake 4" into the ground. It takes three blasts from an air hammer to secure a brace to a stake.
If you're planting grass, it takes 15 minutes to water a 35 square foot area.. two hours to water all the new grass.
Six thousand pounds... that's how much flagstone I personally moved (piece by piece) to form the back patio on the pavilion. Believe or not, my back didn't hurt until I started sweeping in sand between the cracks.
Seven tenths, one and a half inches and a half inch.. that's the amount of rainfall we've had in the recent days.
4:35am... that's the time I finally got to bed last week when a massive storm rolled into the region and I had to stay awake to be prepared for the 'just in case.'
Right now... I'm wondering why I didn't do better in high school math classes.
Bill Robertson

Things you take for granted in the country

A better name for this blog might be; "Things I took for granted in the country and moving to a small town."
First let me say, I'm not complaining. Not at all. I wouldn't trade the move back to my hometown for all the tea in China. But I gotta admit, I'd become a bona fide city sleaker. So, here's my list (in no particular order) followed a brief commentary.
-Rain would drain AWAY from where I'm standing, sitting or anything else.
Apparently, not so. I've given myself the new nicknames of "gutter boy" and "head in ditch man." As of late, we (me and Max) have installed approx. 100' of new gutters. They work great until the rain barrels fill up and overflow. I've personally dug three drainage ditches. At one point, I had my head buried 18" in a ditch so I could get a caulk gun under the siding.
-Computer service
Here's a doosey. First, if it rain--the lines get static. Then after waiting three weeks to get that cleared, the computer modem goes kaput. Actually, it's not all bad. I always liked Big Chief pads and #2 pencils.
-Dumpster/garbage disposal
Eight miles out in the country, you can't just put your garbage cans on the street two nights a week. You either haul to a pit and wait to burn it, take into town to dump it or sign your life away to get a real dumpster on your property. Right now, I'm in the process of signing my life away.
-Good help
Did I tell you about the "ranch hand" who quit after working only 2 1/4 hours? Thank goodness not everybody's that way.
-The corner gas station
I keep a gas can in the back of my truck b/c the nearest station's eight miles down the road.
-TV
Don't miss it. Don't want it, but when severe weather rolls into the area--it is a convenience.
-Ice
A refridgerator w/ an ice maker's worth $1,000,000,000. I don't have $1m so I don't have a fridge w/ an ice maker.

That's just a sampling of things I took for granted. I'm sure I could think of more, but that's the gist.
One thing I didn't take for granted and will never overlook is the quality of life in the country and my hometown. Afterall, who needs all the above when everyday is a new adventure eight miles west of town?
Bill Robertson